There are so many beautiful reasons to love yourself. Here’s one to start with…

Whatever you’re experiencing right now, whatever thoughts, feelings, or habits, we’re right there with you. You’re never alone in your experiences, and nothing can separate you from our shared human experience. This is the philosophy I share on Day 8 of Self-Love Day by Day, a 10-day program for unconditionally loving yourself that I usually only share with readers of How to Have Your Back.

I’m proclaiming this December Giving Month here at leslieralph.com, and I’m starting with this lesson from Self-Love Day by Day. Here it is:

You’re never alone in this or any feeling.

The philosophy:

Pain and struggle separate you from no one but rather connect you to all. Everything you experience is part of our shared human experience. Whatever feeling you have is not the first of its kind, nor will it be the last.

For your contemplation:

Take some time to reflect on today’s philosophy. Use these questions to guide you as you free-write or free associate on the idea that you are never alone in this or any feeling:

What does it mean to you that you’re never alone in this or any feeling?
How might this change your perspective on your own life?
How might this change your perspective on others?

Daily Practice: Loving-Kindness.

You can practice today’s philosophy with a simple moment of loving-kindness. Loving-kindness is a practice of cultivating friendliness, appreciation, compassion, and equanimity for all beings, including ourselves. It’s often practiced during meditation by offering your heartfelt wish for health, safety, happiness, and freedom from suffering for first yourself, then a dear one, a neutral person, a challenging person, and finally for all beings.

For this practice, choose a loving-kindness statement to apply to a challenging experience in your life. If this is your first time ever practicing something like this, you might like to choose a challenging experience that’s also accessible. For instance, a consistent but fairly mild grievance or something that’s not too closely associated with shame or trauma. You might choose frustration over a work relationship, something you worry about occasionally, or a bothersome (though not traumatic) old memory that you’re ready to release.

Step 1: Choose your element of loving-kindness.

Here are a few common phrases in a loving-kindness practice to choose from. Of course, you can always create your own:

May I be happy.

May I be safe.

May I be healthy.

May I be at ease.

May I be free of suffering.

May I be filled with loving-kindness.

Go ahead and let those sink in for a moment. What statement resonates with you?

Step 2: Choose a life experience that you’d like to shine your loving-kindness on.

I’d like to bring loving-kindness to my experience of…

Step 3: Breathe until your body relaxes a bit, and repeat the following statement: May I…(your loving-kindness phrase) in my experience of…(the experience you just named).

Step 4: Breathe and let that statement fill your body. Notice how it feels to say this.

Step 5: Acknowledge our interconnection by restating today’s philosophy: I am never alone in this or any experience/feeling.

Step 6: Extend your loving-kindness to someone you know. If any specific person or group of people going through a similar experience comes to mind, repeat your loving-kindness statement directed at them.

May…(state the name of the person) be…(state your loving-kindness phrase) in his/her experience of…(your shared or similar experience or their unique experience).

Step 7: If it feels accessible, extend your loving-kindness to someone challenging in your life.

May…(state the name of the person) be…(state your loving-kindness phrase) in his/her experience of…(your shared or similar experience or their unique experience).

Step 8: Restate your loving-kindness statement for all beings. You can use the phrase below or rephrase your loving-kindness statement in any way that makes sense to you.

May all beings be… in their experience of…

Leave a comment and tell us what this experience brought up for you.

This is just one of the 10 philosophies and 20 daily practices in Self-Love Day by Day.

For this month, you can download Self-Love Day by Day, Affirmations of Love and Loyalty audio recording, and Loving Interest meditation for free. Get your copy at leslieralph.com/slsdecembergiveaway/

I’ll be sharing more free gifts and opportunities to contribute to the Love & Blessings for All Beings fundraiser (and get great deals in the process) through email and on my Facebook page @leslieromeroralph throughout December.

May we all feel the light of loving-kindness,

Leslie