There was a time when it felt like having flaws or struggles somehow made me less than, and I spent all my time trying to hide those parts of me. I longed desperately to be known but avoided being really seen.
Unsurprisingly, this did not lead to the authentic connection I craved – with myself or anyone else.
Now, I’m more interested in being whole than being perfect, pleasing, or universally loved.
This shift is deeper than being kinder to myself, though I have learned to be my own best friend. And it’s more than having confidence, though I feel bigger and stronger than ever before.
This shift is about loving the whole of you fully and openly. Not in spite of the flaws but including the flaws. It’s those flaws that need our love the most.
Being whole means seeing the dark and the light, the perfection and imperfection as one in the same. It’s knowing that it’s the shadows that give the light away.
I’m not perfect about this by any means. Sometimes I forget and slip into old patterns. Sometimes on autopilot, and sometimes with full awareness of what I’m doing.
The thing is, being whole isn’t about being perfect. There’s nothing to hide or change when you’re focused on wholeness. Nothing to erase. We already are simply by being.
Right now, whether you’re standing in the shadows or basking in the light, you are whole.
You’ve hoped and dreamed, doubted and feared.
You’ve surprised yourself (for better and for worse).
You’ve done exactly what you set out to do.
You’ve fallen flat.
You’ve succeeded and failed, fallen and risen, hurt and healed.
You’ve loved, lost, and lived to love again.
You’ve stood in the shadows and danced in the light.
You’ve sung and cried, whispered and yelled.
In your lifetime, you’ve learned to crawl, to walk, to run, to soar.
You’ve said just the right thing at the right time and you said the things you didn’t mean.
You’ve said too much, too little, just enough.
You’ve been right and wrong, gracious and cold, fearless and afraid.
You’ve felt pride, shame, joy, sorrow, serenity, distress.
And you will again.
All the things you’ve done and the things you’ve seen, the people you’ve known, the heartbreaks you’ve stitched back together, the plans you’ve made, and the plans you’ve had to let go, the celebrations and growing pains are part of your wholeness.
So, give thanks to the shadows as much as you would to the sunlight and learn to look at all of you from the most loving perspective. You are the exact right combination of experiences, insights, strengths, and imperfections that make a person whole.
You always were and always will be beyond compare, and your beautiful heart will change the world.
Take a minute to fill yourself back up with love with this free gift:
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